Numerous and Belligerent

So for the past few days I have been working at a temp job for a directory company in Houston. My job so far has comprised of calling cousin diddling hicks from backwoods Oklahoma.

Some gems I heard over the phone:

When I asked for their company's website:

"The Internet is the realm of gays and democrats!" (And they didn't hang up, they said this as if it was a normal part of a conversation.)

"What's a website?" (I explained it as a place where you list your companies information with pictures on a vast network on many computers, and when that failed I simply said: It's like a lot of books, but on a TV) to which they respond "Oh, (fake)@aol.com!"

This was what the voicemail of the owner/president of a oil production company said:

Automated voice: You have reached the voice mail of
Extremely gravely human voice: Smokey
Automated voice: is not available...

I also got numerous people telling me they don't like to advertise their website, or that they did not want to advertise period. It's been a fun week that's going to be followed by another fun week. I am just glad I am calling people from Texas now, even people from smaller places like Midland and Odessa Texas have small business people who know what a website is and usually have one! I am wondering if the people from Oklahoma are picking up my faint South Texas accent (according to my Geography text it's apparently what remains of the Southern Plantation English dialect that's been eroded away by Northerners who have moved to Southern cities) and just playing off the regional animosity. But in all fairness I did talk to some people from Oklahoma City who were living with me in the 21st century, so there seems to be some hope for this seemingly backwards place.


Couldn't find an embed code, so just watch it here.

Videos

A couple videos for today one from the Colbert Report:



And one for a movie I really am considering dressing up for, this kind of brings a tear of happiness to my eye.



And I hope to God that J.J. Abrams does not screw it up.

The Supreme Court

So the Supreme Court just recently struck down the Washington D.C. total hand gun ban. The right to bear arms is not what I am vexed about, I think that responsible people can be trusted to have weapons, just not armor piercing bullets, grenade launchers, and the like. What really "grinds my gears" is this quote from Scalia's opinion:

The Second Amendment provides: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” In interpreting this text, we are guided by the principle that “[t]he Constitution was written to be understood by the voters; its words and phrases were used in their normal and ordinary as distinguished from technical meaning.”

It seems that Justice Scalia is a strict constructionist only when it suits him, I mean what the hell is original intent?

And now back to our original broadcast

So it’s been a while since I did a post relating to politics and since this blog is for a grade in a Political Science class my inner gut tells me that doing a politics post is a good idea. So today I am covering the complete alienation of the state of Florida.

Florida has often been referred to as the wang of America, and the treatment given to it by the two major campaigns must mean that our country has one hell of a venereal disease (I think its Bond 17) or desperately wants a sex change.

The first abuse that I am going to broach deals with the Democratic Party (gasp! I know going against my own party, what the hell!, I thought I was completely partisan.) So a while back the Democratic Party decided to punish the voters of Michigan and Florida by stripping them of all their delegates to the Democratic National Convention because their state legislators moved their primary forward in direct violation of the DNC rules. Now this also moved the Republican primary forward too in violation of the RNC rules, but the Republicans decided to only remove half of the delegates, which is still retarded but less so than the Democrats IN THIS ONE INSTANCE. So this gave the Republicans plenty of fodder in the fall for the election in two very critical swing states with an ad that will probably say "the Democrat Party disenfranchamized you."

Well a recent development in the McCain campaign has at least evened the floor for the Democrats in Florida: offshore drilling. Now offshore drilling has long been opposed by both parties in Florida (see this story by NPR) but when George Bush came out with support for offshore drilling, McCain came out for it after opposition to it, and the Governor of Florida Charlie Crist came out for it after opposition to it, apparently trying to go after the bucket of piss that is the Vice Presidential Office. So now this should help Obama with a potential argument over how he listens to the people of Florida instead of simply toeing the party line and how McCain is simply bringing in the third Bush term. It also helps that this happened a few months after the whole disenfranchisement thingy since Americans (myself included) don't like to remember things for that long, because we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

And for your consideration:

I Don't Understand

Maybe Duran Duran was just thinking that the success from covering White Lines by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five made this atrocity justifiable. I just can't see how this is real.

Here they are playing it live:



And here is a better quality version for those who like multiple auditory deaths:



But to make you feel better I present you with a challenge watch this video and see how long you can last before you must turn it off or just feel like a part of you has died forever. I make it to 38 seconds and I am curious to see how long you, the reader, lasts. (And the person coming in at 50ish seconds isn't a man according to Wikipedia!)



And one good thing today, here is one of my favorite characters with his very own blog!

For Poli Sci

The political science department at my university has been looking for a fight song for our prestigious institution. I think that their search is now over:



Also this recruiting video best exemplifies the same institution:

New Signs

So I have found some new signs on the McCain site and some of them just don't make sense.









And this one seems to be going after the disaffected Hilary supporters.





I mean I get the last two, but the first one, what's up with that? With this I say goodnight: courage.

John McCain's Base

On my most recent trip to YouTube land looking for things to post so I don't have to be creative I found a perfect example of John McCain's base, enjoy:



Also in the next few posts in I will be telling the complete saga of my adventures with the Democratic Party and my future plans with it (just a heads up that I am still a ardent Democrat and plan to help the Obama campaign during the summer/fall despite the tone of my adventure saga postings.)

The Modern American Political System

I have found a video that perfectly describes all aspects of the modern American Political System that make all future studies of political science useless. This actually will put me out of a job but screw it I'm lazy and this contributes to it! Hooray!

Remember These?

Remember those quizzes that everyone used to take and put up on their My Space (or Xanga/Live Journal for those with emotional problems.) Well I found some of the old quizzes I had on my old social networking site and here is who they said I was.

I am currently 37 years old, Obi Wan Kenobi and the god Odin, who is a member of the German Resistance against Nazism (less than 5% of people who take the quiz scored that!), who will die at age 81 in June of 2063, whose life story will be directed by the disembodied head of Alfred Hitchcock resurrected in a gefilte fish jar.

My god what a waste of time these were.

Look what I did

Look:

Oh Isiah Carey

So here is a funny tidbit for my fellow Houstonians:



Look familiar? I thought so too, but I had to be sure so I did a little digging around to make sure that the man in that video is Fox 26's own Isiah Carey.

I first noticed the big four on his mike, so I did a Google search for "Isiah Carey channel 4" and I found this station: KARK-TV Channel 4 Little Rock which at the bottom lists these people as former talent (Isiah Carey is forth from the top in the first row.)

Now just to be sure that this was most likely him I did another search for "Augusta High School Arkansas" and low and behold I found that there is an Augusta High School two counties over in a "fuckin country ass fucked up town (where) shit flew in (Isiah Carey's) mouth." Well I am glad that he got "the fuck out that country mother fucker" to bring us Houstonians pressing stories like this one.

So, wait, who is stupid?

So I recently got into a lively debate... well screaming match with my doppelgänger over the merits of Barack Obama and John McCain. First we talked about should we have invaded Iraq in the first place. I, being a Democrat, said no and he, being a self described "Vaderist", said yes. Then we got into petty name calling and so forth and we got to the topic of our various candidates intelligence. Now I said that Sen. Obama was very intelegent and my opponent said that he was the Democrat's version of Bush. I replied "nu-uh" and said that Sen. Obama was the first black head of the Harvard Law review (he was interviewed by the New York Times for it) and graduated magna cum laude from one of the most prestigious law schools in the country. Curious as to the academic acheivements of John McCain I decided to look him up on that all too trusty site Wikipedia and found by looking at other sources that he graduated fifth from the bottom from the Annapolis Naval Academy class of 1954 (there were almost 900 people in his graduating class.) But in the end all was forgotten as we played Marvel: Ultimate Alliance and totally kicked ass!

Video selection for today:

We won

So it's finally over, the Democratic Party has finally selected its nominee, and it feels good that the candidate I supported won. Many people looked at me like I was crazy for supporting Obama or that I was just another college student who was lit on fire with rhetoric. (By the way three of his policies: 1) Ending the war in Iraq he has been against since the beginning , 2) Extending health care to all American children, and 3) Reducing carbon emissions by 80 percent by 2050.) But I wasn't and now my guy won. So let me just say what Barack Obama couldn't to Mrs.Clinton:
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN YO' FACE, OH IN YO' FACE!!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!! I would repeat the same to one Ms. Hurwitt.

Maybe she could have won if she wasn't a cyborg and could walk up stairs...

Off to Austin

So a while back, I was really into actively participating in the national election in my home state of Texas and looking forward to attending the state convention. Now after a disastrous experience with the national Obama and Clinton campaigns' stop-over in Texas and the awful, torturous experience that was the state senate district 17 convention followed by a month of too much school work and papers I was definitely no longer anxiously waiting until early June. My apathy towards local politics has been pushed over the edge by the flood of emails I have received from people announcing their candidacy for various worthless positions for the state convention and their pipe dream of being elected to the national convention as a delegate. It is surreal what people are saying in these emails in order to be elected as a national delegate. They mention such achievements as "earning an MBA and becoming a naturalized citizen after escaping from Vietnam" or "being a councilor at HCC" or "being a member of the Southwest U.S. board of directors for UNICEF." I am amazed at the qualifications required of people to simply stand around for a few days in Denver and blindly scream "OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!" It seems a shame that I will miss the Esther Follies in the Austin convention but I know that this video will get me through...

I will probably tell the story of that State Senate District 17 Convention soon, maybe after my E-Gov class is over because large sections of my story are from a paper from another class and that may be seen as plagiarism since this blog is also for a grade.

Historical Comedy and Speculative Fiction

So a quick second post to entertain you dear reader two things I have found on the internet that I find hilarious.

A lesson that 69 or so years of Communism makes you think that this is cool when American's totally know that grunge is where it's at.




Also a webcomic that I just started reading that seems pretty good.

http://shootingwar.com/chapters/chapter-1/

Well Hello There

So it has finally come to this, a blog. I always thought that I would never begin a semi-regular writing adventure on this easily clogged series of tubes, but it seems as if my E-Government class has required it of me. Now for those of you who have read my previous blog DON'T PANIC Mr. X is dead and gone, this blog will focus on serious political issues.

Now for today's topics: 1. What will happen in the next few months of the primary and national elections; and 2. ¡Puerto Rico!

Now according to vigorous You Tube research aided by my good friend NewComposition the following things will happen:

1. Hilary Clinton after realizing that she actually lost the primary election (a strange notion, I'm sure) will morph into an aging senile old man who goes on a very, very, very, very NSFW rant:

(Seriously, Do not watch this if you are capable of being offended)


2. Now not underestimating the stupidity of the Democratic Party (I mean, we did invade the United States once, oops!) this will run as an ad 24/7 until the election in order to bridge the gap with the Reagan Democrats:



3. After loosing the election again due to apathy, pursuing non-partisan get-out-the-vote efforts, the Democralypse (thank you Daily Show), and so on, John McCain will give us this:



4. Now "More wars and less jobs" seems bleak but we won't notice thanks to the large amount of anti-depressants that we will all be on as was hinted to in the new Republican Party slogan:



So all in all, in the end The Daily Show will still be really funny.

The second topic I wish to go over is a little more serious, possible voter fraud in Puerto Rico.
First to get you up to speed on this commonwealth's voting methods read this, specifically the parts in the gray boxes: http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/6/1/121833/8610/90/526726 .

So it seems that even though Puerto Rico is a big win for Hilary it really won't make any difference in the long run. If she uses this as an argument to the super delegates that she has an even larger lead in the popular vote now over Obama he has a pretty good argument against her, even with ignoring her strange math regarding calculating popular vote totals. 1. Puerto Rico doesn't count in the national election, 2. the boost popular vote numbers she received should be completely ignored because they are perhaps largely fraudulent because of the low voter turnout in Puerto Rico, and 3. Puerto Rico doesn't count in the national election.

So it seems that this is the end of my first blog post and you my loyal reader can expect at least four more with my fulfillment of my research paper/blog requirement for my E-Government class! Like Dan Rather said: Courage